Of course you know what I think of you!
Wait. Do you?
I was gathering up steps… it’s way late, but I decided I’d trade the extra, unneeded hour of sleep I collected this morning for closing the day to my satisfaction: three more chapters of Migliore, the aforementioned steps, and now writing with you…
I was gathering up steps and listening to the Accidental Creative podcast to sweeten the deal. Todd Henry wove in a recommendation to write thank-you notes — positive feedback notes — to the people you work with. My mind wandered over to the season I served GSCTX by volunteering with the Recognitions Committee, and how my colleagues praised the recommendations I wrote. Thanks,
And it’s a skill.
Therapy was such an interesting, fertile ground for me. I treasured (treasure!) how my therapist would state something, often in a tone just this side of, “Duh-!”, and it would snap all sorts of my inchoate observations into place.
One of these was: if you don’t speak what’s in your mind, you can’t hold anyone responsible for knowing it.
Well, sure. There are no known mind-readers (I researched extra-sensory perception in 6th grade), so by definition what’s in your head is effectively locked up.
You are relying way too much on your acting abilities if you think facial expressions and body language carry the day. Even trained professionals struggle with wordless scenes–you’ve seen the results.
Since I want to be known, I have ever since worked to speak what’s on my mind. In an appropriate, relationship-building kind of way, naturally… which also took a lot of practice, as My Sweetie could tell you. But I think I do a respectable job anymore, both live or in writing.
But then, I practice a lot.
Right now we’re in the waiting-time before Christmas. In the Christian calendar, we get to use the waiting-times to evaluate our insides as well as our relationships with God and with everybody else.
Todd Henry’s thank-you-notes got me thinking about flipping the timing of our usual practice.
I mean, I hope you write thank-you notes for your Christmas gifts. I can tell you from experience it’s always happy to get them, even when the recipient opened that gift right in front of you and whooped in delight.
But what if, as you wind down this calendar year and start to squint at the next,
what if you sent a super-short note to anyone in your inventory where you think, “Of course they know what I think of them, how I feel about them!” …but know you haven’t told them.
Short, sweet, specific. See if you can do it in three sentences.
I am glad you read this post, and read my blog. I keep thinking you’re not really reading, and then you surprise me with a like, a comment, a note. I don’t know about you, but I see this (at present) as a shared adventure–together we’ll figure out what this blog is all about. Hold on! and thank you. 🙂