Some associations are more free than others

B is watching Agents of Shield. With headphones on, so I can hear the twilight birds’ news conference and the cicadas vibrating via the open laundry room window.

I can also hear B turn to me and say, “This action scene is GREAT! She just slammed him up against a wall, threw him in the freezer, and slammed the door!”

“Oh, like the giraffe,” I comment. 

My dad ran across this in the mid-nineties and promptly shared it with everyone:

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are NOT that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend… except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

I had been wondering what I would write today. I hadn’t squared anything away before I went to brief a group of girls about the Girl Scout Silver Award, and we went from there to a Filipino shop for supper. (I. AM. SO. FULL. I CAN’T MOVE.)

And then I connected comic-book violence to refrigerated wildlife. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t happen to other people. 

Even if it does, it’s pretty funny. 

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