more sleep, more quiet

Type Five EnneaThought® for March 19th

Make this Affirmation today: “I now affirm that my life and struggles are meaningful and rewarding.”

(Enneagram Transformations, 74)

The difficulty I have with this is, perhaps, that quality mentioned in Enneagram literature about Fives seeing clearly.

Very, very clearly.

So in its form today (substantially less than the existential clarity within depression), I read the statement and think:

Whatever meaning or reward I might individually glean, my current struggles are still common, and thus uninteresting. This reward looks a lot like a participation trophy.

Seriously. Doing radical triage on my work assignments is not interesting… elevating my pulse (as in: shit, how is this gonna get done?!) doesn’t imbue something with what it takes to spark my attention.

A school-friend who “does” Myers-Briggs at the next level last week noted that INFJs (and INTJs, so: solidarity!) fail over into their weaknesses of sensing and mild extraversion (code Se).

I feel it. I’m so far down in the weeds* I can’t see anything. And while I desperately want to tidy up the weeds… trimming grass with nail scissors, anyone?… I’m also dragged down by feeling far from where I play, and fly.

I’m trying to stick with a short-list today (think: lawn mower vs. scissors). At the top? A writing assignment. Maybe that will work in two dimensions: writing, and crossing a large thing from my swirling mental lists.

*

And also, I came to write with you. That’s doubly solid as well: writing, that’s not on the list yet feels important.

President Eisenhower perennially noted that sometimes the “merely” important could and should validly supercede the important-and-urgent (a.k.a. my whole assignment book). Me today? I like Ike.

***

*Apologies to actual Sensing folks. “Weeds” is the perjorative term iNtuitives use for the necessary elements & details that make life go. Though sometimes even Sensors end up “in the weeds.”

***

Oh yeah. Segue to title? An additional me-wrinkle is that when I’m this head-compressed, I need even more of my body-restorers. I haven’t told you about the past two weeks, have I? <wry grin>

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